It’s a woman problem

look_into_my_eyes

Women are facing a very real and grave problem in our culture: They are obnoxious cunts.

We don’t know exactly how long this has been going on but we do know that no one is doing anything about it. By the tender age of four, girls begin to show symptoms of this affliction which is technically referred to as relational aggression. By the age of fourteen they are guaranteed to have been affected in some way as it is contagious. Young boys are thankfully spared from this disorder by something commonly called “cooties”.

There is good news and bad news: Relational aggression appears to be a learned behaviour. That’s both the good and bad news. Because it’s not innate, it can be fixed, but because it’s being taught to them by their mothers we can’t just fix the toddlers we need to fix their role models as well. We all know it’s hard to teach an old dog a new way of being a bitch.

Much attention was drawn to this enduring problem with the release of the film Mean Girls. (If you haven’t seen the movie The Intern Extraodinaire can recite it, word for word, in less than thirty minutes.) The obvious resulting concern over our darling female toddlers was to conduct more studies until it was shown that boys are guilty too. To accomplish this feat of avoidance, researchers studied young adults and by the time our kids reach their twenties boys have also started learning these techniques.

“As males and females enter adolescence and adulthood, cross-sex interactions become increasingly common. As a result, the relationally aggressive behaviors more characteristic of elementary school girls may become more common among males as mixed-sex interactions increase.”*

The wikipedia entry, and many others, deceivingly imply that relational aggression occurs equally between males and females and, though they are stuck with the results of empirical evidence, they do their best to mingle discussions of male violence in with the subject of what is indisputably the preferred female form of aggression. Feminism is not interested in fixing it.

The pioneer of relational aggression studies, Nicki Crick, continued the research into more detail when it was discovered that men start to pick up this behaviour and, with a team of experts, took it one step further to study what’s going on with adults. The findings show that, while men start to use relational aggression equally by adulthood, women predominantly turn their abuse on romantic partners as men, behind in the game, are busy practicing it on their peers.*

Relational aggression involves manipulating social hierarchies through exclusion, gossip, reputation damage, visible displays of disgust in the target’s presence, and various forms of humiliation or degradation.

Is this a serious problem? Absolutely. After two decades, the problem is still under-examined and largely ignored.

Gone unchecked, Queen Bee syndrome leads to murder. A prime example, Kelly Ellard, was finally convicted of the second-degree murder of Reena Virk, in Saanich BC, in 2005. The crime took place in 1997 but it took four trials and eight years to finally get a guilty verdict that wasn’t overturned. Wikipedia, unsurprisingly, names Ellard’s boyfriend first as a perpetrator but the murder went like this:

Ellard organized an outside party and had Virk invited. Virk was keen to be “in” with the popular girls so she keenly attended, hopeful that it was a good sign for her social life. When she arrived, the girls (most of whom were not named in the criminal case) swarmed the unsuspecting Virk and beat her until one of the girls told them to stop. Virk managed to stumble away but Ellard told her boyfriend to follow her. Ellard smashed Virk’s head into a tree, knocking her unconscious, and the two of them dragged Reena under a bridge where they continued to beat her and then drown her in the water. Reena Virk was fourteen years old, Ellard was fifteen.

This event is dated but significant. It caused a moral panic: Girls aren’t supposed to do that. We can toss boys in jail but when girls go bad we need to find a way to blame it once more on boys. In this case the boy, unlike Ellard, expressed remorse and responsibility for his actions choosing to communicate with Reena’s parents to help them heal. Ellard has never publicly admitted that she did anything wrong. In the girl world of relational aggression, she hasn’t – she just went a little bit too far.

Unfortunately, the moral panic did not persist in finding a solution and, as long as we hold female aggression as taboo, women will continue to author their own misfortune as well as that of others. There isn’t a man alive who has been meaner to a woman than women are.

The “patriarchy” that feminists are so fond of referring to is not a male construct, it is part of the female hierarchical social aggression scheme. It is created by women, maintained by women, and used by women for their own advantage. It’s exactly what women designed it to be. Girls use boys to compete with each other. Women, when losing a verbal argument, will quite often revert to bragging about the greatness of their boyfriend or spouse. Men are objects to women by which they gain social status and it is not something men have orchestrated, it is just an easy and convenient measure on “the scale of cunthood.”

In fact, all the things that feminists blame on men are results of the peer oriented relational bullying games they learned to play so well as children. Beauty, fancy clothes, foot mutilating shoes, cosmetic surgery, all body image disorders, slut-shaming, ridicule over poverty conditions, and even purported female ignorance are all daggers that women use and throw at each other from the time they are four years old. It’s how we make “friends”.

We know that feminists care about the results, they just don’t seem to care about finding and treating the actual cause. They are too busy staring at their surface reflections in the mirror to bother with what’s inside.

When Toronto Constable Michael Sanguinetti told university students they should “avoid dressing like sluts” it was a generalization of a term he’d probably heard other women use quite often. If you think that’s a wild guess, I direct you to recent events in a matter less ambiguous.

Two teenage girls, aged fifteen and sixteen, were convicted in June 2013 of simultaneously slut-shaming thirty-eight peers in their Swedish school. Alright, feminists, we’ve caught your culprits and they’ve confessed. It’s certainly a crime: They broke the rules and went after too many targets at once, causing a school riot but giving us a face to put to the name of slut-shaming. Only girls could do it so well. Go get ‘em.

Feminists are also very concerned about men bailing out of relationships. Kaye Hymowitz didn’t bother to read Crick’s later work showing that “initial work indicates that relational aggression enacted against romantic partners is associated with romantic relationships of relatively low quality.”*

Feminists are deeply concerned with the amount of hostility men hold towards women while intentionally ignoring that “findings also suggest that as females get older, they may transfer relationally aggressive behaviors learned in the peer context to interactions with romantic partners.” and that men are more prone to reactive relational aggression in response (which, incidentally, is also more connected with prior abuse history than the other types).*

All evidence indicates that Women’s Studies from early childhood education is a great idea. They just need to change the focus from women whining about their victimhood to women learning about how they victimize each other and teaching them to stop being cunts.

As cyber-bullying becomes the new tool for assisted suicide, I think it’s time feminists admit that girls are92% more likely to engage in online bullyingAlong with their mothers.

Instead of #twittersilence they should focus on the real problem with #don’tbethatcunt.

I suggest the following course titles as options for future consideration:

 

  • How to enjoy life without wrecking someone else’s;
  • How to share friends and be happy;
  • Don’t be defined by the number of gifts you get;
  • How to openly and honestly fight your own battles;
  • Popularity isn’t worth killing or dying for
    and, ultimately,
  • How to stop being a cunt.

 Source: * Proactive, reactive, and romantic aggression in adulthood: Measurement, predictive validity, gender differences, and association with Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Dianna Murray-Close, Jamie M. Ostrov, David A. Nelson, Nicki R. Crick, Emil F. Coccaro, 2009

Also posted on A Voice For Men

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